Many of the people who join this web site are people who do not want to be limited to local contacts alone. It can be a very rewarding experience making virtual connections with people you would otherwise never have met. You never know who you might meet--the love of your life; your true best friend; someone who can enhance your life in some great way.

• Do not share your personal information on message boards, in chatrooms, or directly with people about whom you do not know enough to take such chances.
• Get to know a person VERY well by using the communication tools on SubmissiveMatch.com before interacting off this site. Communications that are abusive or throw up red flags can be monitored. Any conversations via the chatroom and email can be saved by YOU and reported by YOU. We want to know so please let us know.
• Do NOT ask for or give money or financial information to anyone at anytime.
• Do NOT give out the email address that is attached to the service of your interent service provider. Use free mail such as Yahoo or Hotmail. there are many out there.
• Start your phone interaction with a cell phone number if possible. A land line can be traced to an address. Look for red flags.
• Phone consistently turned off or not answered during the persons off hours.
• Children in the background when they say they have none.
• You call and they always have to call you back.
• Before giving out your home number, require that the person to obtain a background check by joining a site such as trustadate.com or a similar one. We like their system because the profile is about you and not your mate. What this means is that a profile is created based on the data you provide and your social security number and other pertinent information is kept private on the report. You can give a potential mate the link and they can see it for themselves. DO NOT give out pertinent personal information to a person for the purpose of performing a background check. Remember, YOU must be in control and the reason for the check is that you DO NOT know them.
• A web cam is your friend! Use it to your advantage. These are some tips that may benefit you
  • Place your cam in area that does not show any valuables or personally identifiable information.
  • Force an on camera interaction so that you can see the person to which you are speaking.
  • Take note of any tattoos, piercings, hair color or other identifying marks that may be used should you need them.
• Always require more than one photo!
• Check the databases of the States at the bottom of this page to see if they are listed as a sexual offender.
• If you decide to meet a person, do so in a public place. Let a friend or family member know your location and plans. Set up a scheduled call time to let them know things are ok. Meet during the day and not at night. Try not to go directly home.

Red Flags

• Can only communicate from work.
• No marital status selected on profile.
• Must always call you back.
• Children in the background when there are not supposed to be any.
• Insistance for phone number before you are ready.
• Insistance for email address before you are ready.
• Insistance for first name AND last name before you are ready.
• Hard luck money stories.
• An admission of marriage and a request for discretion. It is one sided and if the spouse finds out YOU just might be the target!
• A marital proposal after a few hours or days.
• Pay me to see me scams.
• Insistance for a private meeting.
• Resistence to self background check.

• Never allow yourself to be hit with whip or crop on the tailbone, head or neck.
• Do not allow permanent injury, scaring, cutting, burning.
• Do not submit to be passed around as as a sexual favor between Doms
• Respect the use of a safe word like "daffy" to stop unwanted activity. The safe word should always be an 'out of place' word.
• Never leave clamps on for more than 15 minutes, even in an online session. Allow blood to circulate.
• Always ask for "Mercy"or use a preset "safe word" if suspended or limbs become cold or numb.
• Educate yourself about this lifestyle and all that it entails. Control what happens. Bondage, pain and other physical practices are not necessarily parts of being either dominant or submissive.
• Educate yourself about abuse and what it means to be abused. DO NOT permit this in any way!